On the downer side, the doctors are really concerned with my thyroid levels still being abnormal and low and the fact that I am taking 150mg of thyroid medicine already! So, they are recommending me to see a specialist. Not too thrilled with that! Yet, getting some answers and steps forward would be rather nice.
And of course nothing makes sense when it comes to me, so although I have a lot of the PCOS side effects including androgenism, my testosterone levels are low. Everything that I have going on is pretty my completely counter productive to me competing! :( that is definitely a bummmer and super frustrating! Also, the doc recommended that I get on birth control to help the effects of the androgen's and level out my hormones and force my body to have a cycle at least 4 times a year. She is really concerned with me getting endometrial cancer if I don't. Also, the other lovely side effects of the PCOS is a muuuuuch greater risk of insulin resistence, obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. Once again all lovely and counterproductive for my pro card. :(
Needless to say, after my 2 hour least favorite doctors appointment of the year, I was not a very happy camper. No no you could pretty much say I was more like a camper trapped in the woods with no winter clothes or blankets in the middle of a blizzard, definitely frustrated, angry, and upset!
Honestly, I am just tired and worn out! I'm tired of putting in so much effort, of trying so hard, of not being able to eat "normal" food, of feeling so crappy, of looking at a cookie and gaining 5 lbs, of doctor appointments, and blood work! I am just frustrated, tired, and wore out! I feel like I need a break from life!
One of the MANY doctors I have seen along this journey to health told me, "You should just step outside yourself and really take a look at what is going on and you will probably feel better." Today I actually thought about her advice seriously for the first time and wished that I really could step outside myself just to get a break!
Luckily, I have the BEST chiropractor in the world and he sat with me while I cried about it! (Definitely didn't mean to start bawling in his office, but it seemed to be the BIG theme for the day) Although I am not sure there is anything anyone could say to make me snap out of my craziness today, it was definitely nice to feel like there was someone there who truly cares about my health and healing. Thank you Dr. Brian Hooten! You are the BEST!
Today was definitely a down day in this journey and I think unfortunately in order to truly be able to appreciate the great days you have to have the bad ones too. I am so glad to finally be laying in my bed ready for bed and ready to wake up and start a new day! God is so good and I am just so thankful that He loves me and like His word reminds me we start fresh everyday! Tomorrow WILL be a better day! What a great and amazing God we have! Wow! When I can take my eyes off of my problems and look and focus at God's character and many blessing in my life and in this world, it really puts things into perspective for me! Also, of course some baking with family helps a little too! My mom and I had fun baking Christmas cookies and had some sweet treats and fun laughs in the process! It definitely made my day much better and I had fun doing it! Thank you mom! :)
As I fall asleep I am trying to remember that tomorrow is a new day filled with ALL of God's blessing.....
Brittany Albrecht
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