Oh My May

Well, as I always end up saying at the beginning of the month, I can't believe that it is already May! Oh my, where has the time gone! I feel like I was just starting the semester and now I am looking straight down the barrell of my last 2 weeks of this final full semester of my undergraduate classes!! Yay for that! Then the following week I am taking a mini-mester class that is Monday through Friday 8am-5pm. These classes, although are nice because you get a full 3 credit hour class finished within a week, are super stressful because you are doing an entire semester class in a week! All the prayer warriors get your BIG ones out because I am going to need all the prayers that I can get these next couple of weeks!!!

Unfortunately, over the last couple of weeks I have been getting increasingly tired. I don't know if it was the switch in my thyorid medicine or just the cycle of the progesterone, or just the PCOS in general. Yet, yesterday I was falling asleep on the couch at 5pm! WOW, that is crazy for me. And even as I sit here typing this I am struggling to keep my eyes open and if it were possible for me to go back to bed, I wouldn't think twice about it! Obviously there is something going on now the real key is figuring out what it is!

My diet has been great I believe I am not on day 27 of perfectly clean eating with no carbs, and no sugar, and all natural. I love how much better I feel when I am eating like this and it has definitely helped the insulin resistance because I no longer am having CrAzY outrageous desires and NEEEEEDs for sugars and carbs. I even made Monkey Bread (a Giant Cinnamon Roll) this past week for my roommate and friend and didn't even have an urge or feel the need to have any. I have also kept up with my supplements and my water. I drink excessively as usual and pretty much always have a bottle of water in my hand. I have even started buying all grass fed, no hormone, free range meats despite the fact at how much more expensive it is.

My workouts have been quickly coming to a stall because of the energy thing. Fortunately, I am at least able to get myself to the gym in the mornings and I am getting in at least 5 weight training days per week and at least 5 cardio days per week. Unfortunately, this LACK of energy thing is REALLY starting to get to me and I am struggling to even make it entirely through all of my workouts. I am ready for bed about half-way through. Also, I am finding that I am weaker and not able to lift as much or go as long. This is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY out of my character! I hate it because it is almost like I am looking from the outside in and I know that it is not like me but I can't do anything about it. It is basically just pure exhaustion, physically and mentally.

I called the doctor this morning and left her a message about my thyroid and about the fact that I am supposed to get a prescription level of vitamin D because mine was so low and my moods fluctuate sooo much when the weather is bad. So I am anxiously waiting their phone call (with as much energy as I can muster up to wait for it!)

I am trying to stay postive throughout this time, but it sure is going to make these next 3 weeks even more difficult then they are already going to be if something doesn't change. Thank God for my amazing relationship with Him because without Him I don't know what I would do or where I would find my rest, peace, and strength! I am going to just rest on the notion that, "I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens ME" (Phil. 4:13).

Pneumonia

First off, I can't believe that it is already April! Wow, crazy! Time suuure flies (and yes, I will probably say that at the beginning of every month!) Well, March wasn't exactly my favorite month ever. I was pretty much sick the entire month and wasn't able to workout! I did get to watch a lot of movies and a lay on my butt a lot. I had been pushing to compete in April yet after a month of not working out, unless of course you count hacking up a lung, that is not going to happen. On top of the coughing and feeling awful when I actually felt like eating, I pretty much ate whatever I wanted, and most of the time I didn't want to eat chicken and broccoli. It was a crazy chain of events that started with my usual health stuff and snowballed into a cold, to bronchitis, to a kidney infection, to pneumonia! No bueno!

Well, the positive news is I am feeling MUCH better now. Despite the fact that I am still not 100% I was able to run on Tuesday, Wednesday, and this morning. Also, I trained with Jerome for the first time today too. Despite the fact I was on the verge of passing out the entire time, it felt AMAZING! I loved the torture and sorta of forgot JUST how much I liked it! It was an amazing high and made me feel soo much better! Now I can't wait to be back to 100% so I can get back focused and ready for the next competition. Right now I am trying to shoot for the end of May but sort of playing it by year because you just never know what my body is going to do (or not do).

March 10 Training

Doing clean's as part of the workout.




These are the crazy hard yoga push-ups off the tire, which we superset with 50 tire jumps! Fun times!



Now this is Jasmine trying to do her first hand stand. The video doesn't really do the humor of the whole thing justice.

Training speed bumps

Well, I think my strength in my training has now become my weakness. The diet used to be the easiest part for me to do. I used to be able to get into the zone and stay there and just do it because my goal was constantly on my mind. Yet, this time around I am REALLY struggling with the diet portion of my training. Obviously, I LOVE food and I love new flavors, cooking, recipes, and ingredients. Cooking and baking is a stress reliever and a relaxer for me. Usually I would be able to cook and bake and not even lick a single spoon, yet this time around I am having a hard time not eating the entire cake!

Grr....it is so frustrating because its like my actions are lining up with my intentions or my goals and I don't understand why. It is sort of weird because we have been learning about this is social psychology. From a psychologist standpoint it would be called cognitive dissonance.

It is like a flip switches in my head and all of a sudden I don't care about my prior stated goals. It is like they just go completely out the window and my mind is focused on something else. Food is awesome and delicious food is even better and homemade delicious food is amazing! It is definitely a coping mechanism and it is definitely a comfort. I don't know if it is because I am so stressed about everything else in my life that is going on, or because it is not my reeeeallll intention to compete in this show in April, or if I am just afraid to succeed. Whatever the reasoning, the dissonance that I am experiencing is huge and I am very frustrated, disappointed, mad, and upset that I can't seem to get it all together. :( It is a cycle of doing absolutely amazing and then something will happen or I will feel the stress creep in and then I feel totally overwhelmed and my prior desires and goals just go out the window and I just don't care.

Also, for those of you that don't know I have something called SAD (and yes it actually is sad). It is a form of depression that is often called seasonal or the winter blues because when the weather gets overcast and cloudy my mood is drastically effected.  Some of the symptoms are sleeping too much, having little energy, and craving sweets and starchy foods, (one of the big ones) feeling depressed, difficulty waking up in the morning, tendency to oversleep as well as to overeat, and especially a craving for carbohydrates, which leads to weight gain. Other symptoms include a lack of energy, difficulty concentrating on completing tasks, and withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities. All of this leads to the depression, pessimism, and lack of pleasure which characterize a person suffering from this disorder.

Unfortunately I am effected by almost all of the symptoms, which is not very conducive to trying to diet as hard as I am dieting and trying to get ready for a show. The only time that I ever have real thoughts, urges, cravings, and cave is when the weather is bad. I am like a totally different person sort of like Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. It is definitely not fun but I guess it is just another speed bump to get over in not only this journey for my pro card, but also in life. I am not going to let this hold me back! Finish line here I come! :)